Wow. I guess I got your attention. Thank you for stopping in to see what all the commotion was about!
Please take a moment to read this post thoroughly so you can understand its message as it develops. Although the title may sound rather negative in nature, I have a wonderful message to share with you. I promise these words will touch you in one way or another. Please begin by watching this video, specifically from 2:45 until the end.
I will never forget the first time I saw this video. It’s like he took the words right out of my mouth. Ashton Kutcher said the very message that all parents should be sharing with their children. Sometimes we are just so wrapped up in getting after children to do their homework, eat healthier, clean up their rooms, and all the other parental stuff and just forget to take the time to say those things that really matter.
There is a reason we often feel like we are not good enough. These ideas in our head have to come from somewhere, after all. Sometimes they come from stuff we see on TV. Sometimes they come from that mean person at work or school. Unfortunately, most of the time they come from those that we trust the most, like our family members or closest friends. It’s time for me to get deep with you.
First let me tell you a recent little story from my life. One of the lowest points of my time on this Earth came when shame crept into my heart. Please don’t think that I am trying to play the role of the innocent angel; I have done stupid and hurtful things to others, including those I dearly love. After making some of those mistakes, as a way to try to make it up, I had given a lot of my power to that person. I tried to humble myself and beg for forgiveness. Rarely was that dearly needed forgiveness ever given, and eventually my kindness was taken advantage of. Eventually I became a victim of mental / verbal abuse.
Because I had given so much of my power to this other person, I simply began to think less of myself. I still loved myself, but I began to think to some degree that I deserved this treatment. I did little to try to stop it. This included me being criticized for so many things that I would do. This included little nuances, like quirky habits that just make me who I am, the way I said things, and even things that truly made me happy. When I tried to work things out with the other person, there was no improving. Here is the reason why.
We all have a love tank, just like how each our cars has a gas tank. If you don’t fill up that gas tank, your car eventually stops driving forward. Your heart and my heart is just like that gas tank. Every day we need to do something to fill up our love tank. This might include someone complimenting your new haircut, saying thank you for your kind deed, or best yet, telling you how you made him / her feel because of you being in that person’s life. Just stop for a moment. Think about how it feels when someone does something that truly touches you. Close your eyes. Do you feel it? Sadly, when you don’t fill up your love tank, you stop walking forward.
Those who hurt us, directly or indirectly, do not have their love tanks filled. After pondering this thought time and time again, I just could not come up with a rational reason that someone who is full of love and gratitude would ever make it a point to hurt another. Basically, this is an ongoing cycle of emptiness inside. Unfortunately, those who are missing they love they need end up passing on their emptiness to others. Because they don’t know how to deal with this emptiness or know how to get the proper love that their hearts need, they end up trying to impose their pains onto others.
Sadly, this is an almost guaranteed endless cycle. You really can find your own happiness. You can share your happiness with others in your life. You may be able to impact a great amount of people and lead them towards their own happiness, but it of course is impossible to touch every life that you come across in your journey.
Call it what you want. Chaos, drama, verbal / emotional abuse, and all other unhealthy behaviors come from feeling empty inside. You will become just like those you associate yourself with. If you want to find happiness, hang around others who have found happiness. If you want to be successful at your job, take some time to get to know the top performing coworkers. On the flipside, if you want to walk away from your own unhealthy habits in your life, you need to walk forward and away from those who are dragging you down.
Finding your own peace
You are your own person. Even though many of you still have parents around to help you along and many of you have spouses to uplift you, at the end of the day, the only person who is going to take care of you is you! This is not just some overused clichéd phrase; there is so much truth to those words!
Stop everything you are doing right now. Think about who you are at this time. Where have you been? Who are you right now? Where are you going? Really think about who you are and where you are going. Think about the positive changes you want in your life. Make those decisions to get there and promise yourself to carry out each one of them. Figure out what you want, and don’t let anyone ever stop you from getting there. You will do this because you love yourself!
Forget about the people who have said mean things about you. Forget about the people / companies trying to make you jealous of what they have. Forget about all the people / companies trying to tell you that you are just not good enough to be accepted by others. You will know in your heart where the intentions of others lie. If you feel that their hearts are pure, then follow along. If there are selfish motives to be found, run away!
People will try to make you do the things they want you to do. They will try to sell you their products / services because they want your money. People will try to be your “friend” because they want you to do things for them or want you to give them what you have. People get what they want from you, because they do a good job of selling you the idea that your life is empty without what they “have to offer.” You have to figure out who truly has your best interests in mind.
Now that brings me to this quote:
Gratitude truly is the path to happiness!!! I can stress that until I am blue in the face. Then I will find a way to keep on stressing it! Once I had found gratitude, my life has never been the same. I become more and more happy the more I make gratitude a part of my life. If you are grateful for what you have, you begin to desire less and less. People can try all they want to tell you how lame you are or how empty your life is without them or what they are selling. It is just a bunch of crap!
I have been putting off writing this post for a few days. I knew without a doubt that the time to get this going was right now when I came across this quote by Les Brown:
It doesn’t matter that some people are laughing behind your back…glad to see you fail, smiling in your face, while pretending to be your friend. You are not your mistakes, your failures, or your disappointments. Be aware things will happen that you are not prepared for.
Regroup, go back to the drawing board and come back with a different strategy. Every day you have the opportunity to relaunch, revive and to reinvigorate your dream. You are more powerful than you realize! Dig in, challenge yourself and hold the vision. You have GREATNESS within you!
So when it comes down to it, you have to take care of yourself first. I don’t care who else is in your life. Your first relationship is with your Creator. The next important relationship is the one you have with yourself. After that would be your spouse or significant other (or your parents if you are single). Then come your immediate family members. After your friends, you also have to maintain your relationship with your work.
If you do not stop at nothing to love and uplift yourself, you are not able to really help others in a meaningful manner. How can you give what you don’t have? That is why it is such a blessing to volunteer. When you have something to give to others, when you are expecting nothing in return, you realize how blessed you are; you realize you have something to give to others, and you are still left with an abundance of blessings.
Take care of yourself. Be happy with what you have. Be happy with those in your life. If there are those in your life who weigh you down or try to make you feel empty because of their own emptiness, you have to stop everything and fill up your love tank. Once you are strong, filled with an abundance of love, you can then finally try to complete that circle, become vulnerable, and pay it forward to those who once brought you down due to their emptiness. Until then, your heart craves love. Give it what it needs. Even if it means distancing yourself from those you love because they wear you down, you must do everything possible to fill your love tank.
Over time, love tank will become full. Your heart will be filled with love. You will have such an abundance, that you go out of your way to find opportunities to serve others. This includes those you don’t even know, those you haven’t talked to in years, and even those who have previously hurt you! Amazing things are just ahead in your life! I promise you that!
Always be sexy. I love you guys.