Why do we value the opinion of others so much???
When we were younger how many times did we think we did something just right only to have our parent, teacher, or friend cut us down for doing it wrong? Especially when it comes to authority figures like parents and teachers, we want to please them. We are young and don’t always know better. We see them as authority figures. We think they have our best interests in mind at all times. We don’t understand that they also can go through tough days and inadvertently take it out on us. When we get cut down we feel sad. We don’t want to disappoint those we love.
Then we grow up. We still want to grow, become better, all while not disappointing those we love. Unfortunately, we don’t just seek approval from those who previously judged or criticized us. We start to crave the approval of others in our lives, even those that we don’t even know, including the approval of total strangers.
We’re worried about going out without having our makeup or hair done. We second-guess our artwork and ask others if it looks good enough before posting it online. We dread turning in that project / assignment fearing judgement from our boss / teacher.
This also translates into the way we act or dress in public. We’re afraid to be who we want to be. We feel that we need to be a certain way. Mom and Dad wanted us to be doctors, lawyers, or teachers, although in reality we wanted to be a hair stylist, video game designer, actor, or mechanic.
We oftentimes compromise our own true desires to please others. In the end we become miserable. We are still paying back student loans that covered a degree for a career that we hate. We see others with fancy houses, cars, and other things, so we feel the need to be like them to fit in. This is not happiness!
Happiness is doing the things that you enjoy. You aren’t born knowing what you like. You figure this stuff out by trying a bunch of stuff and figuring it all out. You’re going to try a bunch of stuff that is not for you. Some things are just okay. However, sometimes you’re going to find an activity, food, hobby, or profession that you just LOVE!
When you do those things you feel ALIVE!!!
When you figure these things out stop right away! Make a huge mental note of the things you love. Immediately begin doing these things more and more. Eventually you will begin to wean out the things that make you unhappy. You are now realizing your voice inside. That voice is making itself heard. You no longer need the approval of others. People will still be criticizing you; that never ends. Ever. You need to make your love for yourself stronger than the voice of any critic!
This is your life! This is not your dad’s life, your teacher’s life, your boss’s life, your neighbor’s life, your spouse’s life, or even your child’s life. You need to do you.
Love yourself! Do the things you love!
I love you guys!